I Can't Get Into Ugly Betty...

...Yet I love America Ferrera. She is so pretty! Plus she's a great actress.
But last night, as I was sitting on the couch nursing the little one, I was trying to watch Ugly Betty, especially after Ms. Ferrera won at the Golden Globes. I wanted to show her some support.



But I just had to turn. Not that it's not a good show, it's just that it reminded me too much of myself and my story.

You see, for most of my life I've suffered from a lack of self-esteem. I wouldn't say I had low self-esteem, because it wasn't low, it was non-existent. I remember one day in seventh grade (the grade where you start to care how boys view you and you start wearing jewelry and lip gloss) when school pictures came out. This boy looked over my shoulder at my packet and said, "You look like an ugly boy."

Can you imagine how that made me feel? Not only did he think I was ugly, but he thought I looked like a BOY. That comment has permanently scarred me. And the fact that he said it so casually, so matter-of-fact, haunted me for years after.

I mean, I know I'm not the prettiest woman alive. You won't catch me on the cover of People's Most Beautiful People issue. I think on a good day, when I'm well rested and managed to find my way into the salon, I'm pretty cute. But every day? An average day? I'm just an average chick.

I wear glasses. Society would have us believe sexy women don't suffer from astigmatism or near-sightedness.

This brings me back to Ugly Betty. She wears glasses, braces and has a, ahem, odd sense of fashion. She works at a high fashion magazine and the other staff members look down at her.

Sometimes I feel like that would be me if I moved to New York and worked at, say, Vogue. I'm not the most glamourous woman, but I long to be.

Watching Ugly Betty just takes me back to that day in seventh grade, when I wanted nothing more than just be pretty.