Thursday, November 30, 2006

Childbirth 101

Seeing as how my little one is almost 2 weeks old and the pain of childbirth has (almost) left my memory, I wanted to write up a little something about my birth experience so I could always have a record of what it was like.

I didn't have a "normal" labor to begin with, as my little princess decided she wasn't in any hurry to make her entrance into the world and was a week past her due date. Between being the control freak that I am, not wanting to remain pregnant one moment longer, and the doctor's worries about my blood pressure, I scheduled an induction for Sunday November 19.

We (TJ and I) arrived at the hospital at 9 pm as scheduled and they had me undress and hop into bed to get the party started. (Here's where it gets graphic so if you don't want all the details, stop here).

They hooked me up to the fetal monitor and watched my blood pressure. Then after an hour or so, the doctor came in to examine my cervix and see how much I had dilated. I was about 2 centimeters. (For those who don't know, you need to be at 10 cm before you can push.) They inserted this paper thingy up by my cervix, which was supposed to get the labor going.

Did it ever!! I was crying from all the pain and all I could think was, "Lord let me hurry and get to four centimeters so I can get this epidural!" They say labor pains are supposed to come and go and you're supposed to be able to relax in between, but I swear mine just kept coming harder and faster. By this point, I wasn't dilated enough for an epidural, but I kept demanding drugs, so they gave me something to "take the edge off," which is code for "doesn't do much at all."

I was finally in so much pain that I started vomiting all over the place. TJ (God bless him) held the trash can and rubbed my back as I kept heaving up what was left of my dinner. In the middle of it all, I felt this huge gush of water. "TJ," I said between heaves, "I think my water broke."

So he leaves to go get the nurse and she confirms that yes, my water had broken. They moved me into another room. This one was much larger and had room for all my family members - my mom and dad were both there.

By this time, I'm having contractions on top of contractions and it hurts to even think. I try doing those breathing exercises they showed me in Lamaze class, but they aren't helping and all TJ's coaching is doing is getting on my nerves. Around 5 a.m., I tell him, "I need an epidural- NOW."

He runs to get the doctor and I pray to God that I'm dilated enough to get the shot that will ease all my pain. The doctor checks me and says that I'm 4 cm - the magic number.

I wait for the man with the drugs and count my blessings that the pain is almost over. They arrive and I hunch over per their instructions and wait for them to stick the needle in my back to numb me from the waist down. It's kind of ironic that a needle in my spine will get rid of the pain but at this point I'm ready to do whatever they ask to make this pain go away.

About five minutes after the epidural is inserted, my lower body goes completely numb. Under ordinary circumstances it would be weird, but now it just feels like heaven. I close my eyes and then try to get some sleep so I can have energy for the rest of my labor....

About an hour later, the nurse comes in and tells me I'm running a fever. They want me to take some Tylenol, my mom gets me a Popsicle, they discuss giving me antibiotics. After about an hour or so of this, my fever still hasn't gone down. Apparently, I had a slight infection and the longer the baby stayed in my womb, the greater the chance that she would have it too when she finally made her appearance.

The doctors confer and they decide to wait an extra hour and if I'm not ready to push they'll do a C-section. I'm slightly nervous, but at the same time, I want her to be healthy. I look at TJ and I can't read his face, I can't tell what he's thinking. My parents are on the other side of the room and I can tell they are nervous about this whole thing. My mom had two C-sections and my whole life she's been telling me how painful the recovery was.

The doctors come back and check me, and they determine that I haven't dilated enough for pushing to be possible in the next half hour so they make the call to go for a C-section. My parents are shuttled off to a waiting room, the nurses toss TJ some scrubs and tell him to get ready. The anesthelogists scurry into the room, giving me pain medication after medication. Someone hands me a cup with a dark liquid in it and tells me to drink it. "Take it like a shot," the nurse advises. I swallow some and it's so bitter I swear they just handed me some rum. Turns out it's some type of antacid so I don't vomit all over the table during the surgery.

They wheel me into the OR and flip me (literally) onto the table. I'm only supposed to be numb from my boobs down, but by this point the only thing I can move are the fingers on my left hand. I'm not complaining, 'cause the last thing I want to feel is them sawing me in half.

The docs all scrub up and assemble around the table where I'm laying. TJ suddenly appears at my head and I feel a huge sense of relief like I'm not going through this alone. "Are you okay?" he asks. I nod and close my eyes, praying to God that my little girl is healthy and I hear her cry.

After what seems like forever, I feel some tugging on my belly and some murmurs among the doctors. They all of a sudden I hear - "Waa!" A short cry, but a good cry nonetheless. I smile, knowing that my baby girl is ok. I turn my head to the side and see a slightly chubby, dark haired baby being wiped down. "Is that my baby?" I think to myself. "How weird. I'm a mommy now."

After she's all cleaned up, the nurses hand her to TJ and TJ holds her by my head. "She looks like you," I say. TJ just smiles at his baby girl. The docs sew me back up and I'm wheeled off to the recovery room....



Labor was tough and I never thought I'd experience pain like that. There are no words to describe it. But if I had to do it all over again, I would. (But DEFINITELY with an epidural)

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Last day...

Well, this is it. In about four hours, I will be admitted to Hillcrest hospital to have my labor induced. My little precious is about a week late, with no true signs of ever being ready to come out.

Am I ready? Well, like the childhood game goes, ready or not, here she comes. I think I've been trying to prepare myself, but nothing can truly prepare you for parenthood except parenthood. I just thank God that I have a wonderful fiance who has been by my side the whole time. I don't know what I would've done if he hadn't been there.

Am I nervous? Definitely. I'm nervous about doing things the "right way" - holding her the right way, feeding her enough, changing her, teaching her, showing her the best way to live. I'm still learning myself sometimes what to do.

But what I will say, is that ever since we scheduled the induction, I've been more motivated than ever to work hard. I want to succeed now, not just because of my own personal goals, but because I want to provide for her, so that she doesn't know the pain of going without. Sometimes I feel like the odds are stacked against me, that everyone expects me to fail and to become a statistic, but I truly believe that my daughter has been placed in my life to become my reason for breathing, not to become an obstacle on my road to progress.

I just pray to God that everything works out. I've never considered myself a true practicing, in-your-face Christian, but I've always had God in my heart and wanted to do what pleased Him. I might not have always followed His path, but I still believe I am a good person. It's funny how being pregnant and about to give birth makes you analyze what type of person you've been, and how you can become a better person. I can't wait to see my little one, to hear her take her first breath of air, her first cry. I don't know what I've done to deserve this, but I am truly floating on cloud nine. I'm loving her already.

So perhaps you'll get another post from me on Wednesday or Thursday when I get home detailing my first childbirth experience, but I doubt it. But I WILL detail it, if for no other reason than to have it written down somewhere for my daughter to read one day.

To be continued...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

New developments

As the days until the little one arrive are winding down, I have been busy working on a few articles for my current "baby," MahoganyBaby.com. Today the November/December issue launches and I have three pieces running on the site.

First, if you click on the upper-left hand picture on the home page, you will get a chance to read my interview with Angela Burt-Murray, editor of Essence magazine, as we talk about how she balances work and motherhood.

Then I have a shorter item on the top books for moms-to-be and new mothers. I also have a piece on transitioning back to work after maternity leave. So....if you head over to www.mahoganybaby.com, you can see what I've been up to.

Until next time!

New developments

As the days until the little one arrive are winding down, I have been busy working on a few articles for my current "baby," MahoganyBaby.com. Today the November/December issue launches and I have three pieces running on the site.

First, if you click on the upper-left hand picture on the home page, you will get a chance to read my interview with Angela Burt-Murray, editor of Essence magazine, as we talk about how she balances work and motherhood.

Then I have a shorter item on the top books for moms-to-be and new mothers. I also have a piece on transitioning back to work after maternity leave. So....if you head over to www.mahoganybaby.com, you can see what I've been up to.

Until next time!