tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306406732024-03-23T13:25:13.585-05:00Words 'n' Such'Cause I like to write....T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.comBlogger194125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-53557833686614282192008-10-08T08:17:00.003-05:002008-10-08T08:25:01.367-05:00Stay-at-home motherhood? What's that?During my maternity leave, I've discovered two things: One, I am going to miss my kids when I go back to work. Two, there is no way I could be a stay-at-home mom.<br /><br />Don't those two emotions conflict? Yeah, I guess they do. But as much as I love my kids, as much as I want to be the one who feeds them and plays with them everyday, the reality is Mommy has to go to work.<br /><br />I don't see how we could manage with just one income. True, we'd save a boatload of money by not worrying about childcare, but still. With the way the economy is, and the price of everything skyrocketing, I like the idea of a two-income family, if for no other reason than to make me feel more secure about being able to provide for my kids.<br /><br />But historically, haven't black women always worked outside the home? Isn't this a cultural thing? Isn't this just what we (black women) do? Give our all in all areas of our lives?<br /><br />Truthfully, I didn't even know being a stay-at-home mom was an option. When I found out I was pregnant with my son, I told my boss and she asked if I was planning to come back to work after he was born. I looked at her with a confused look on my face. "Why wouldn't I come back?" I thought to myself.<br /><br />Then I realized. Some women (who are fortunate enough to have the means financially) say Adios to the working world once their children are born. I've never even considered it.<br /><br />What do you think? Should women stay home? Is it smart? Better for the kids?T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-46309973275904012272008-10-05T18:44:00.002-05:002008-10-05T18:53:08.285-05:00In the midst of a recession...Why does a recession have to hit when I <em>finally</em> have a decent job? It's like the economy was just waiting for me to finally get some money so the price of gas, and food, and well...<em>life </em>can increase.<br /><br />I'm in need of a side-hustle for real, y'all. While my hubby and I can finally be considered middle-middle class (a huge come-up from 2007), we also added a new kid to the mix. We've got big ambitions for our family, one that includes purchasing a home in next year. We originally planned on buying a home about seven months ago, but instead moved into an apartment to give us more time to bulk up our down payment.<br /><br />Apartment living is okay, but I'm in desperate need of a place to call my own. A place where I can paint the walls and customize the kitchen and let the kids run around outside without worrying about the neighbors' dog. A place where I don't hear the thumps and bumps upstairs at 3 a.m.<br /><br />I've analyzed our expenses and short of canceling my Netflix subscription, there's not much we can do to cut costs. I already cut back on food and our cell phone bill. I'm still driving my 1997 Buick, so there's no car note there. We don't go out much, and our daughter's daycare is the cheapest (yet still suitable) we could find.<br /><br />So, the answer is to bring in more income. I'm willing to work nights and weekends if it means we can move into our own home sooner. Although I hate the way the economy is right now, I want to give my kids the world.T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-77127386334556490192008-10-03T06:00:00.002-05:002008-10-03T06:11:54.407-05:00Palin did not perform well...please stop saying she didI'm up at 7 a.m., even though my two babies are still sleeping and I have nowhere to be because I had to write something about that VP debate I saw last night.<br /><br />Biden WON hands down. Get over it already.<br /><br />I'm so tired of people saying Gov. Sarah Palin did an excellent job last night. No, she didn't. She didn't. She didn't.<br /><br />With the way the country is right now, with all the financial ruin that is around the corner, the state of our education system, our energy crisis, our inability to win and finish a war that is costing us not only soliders' lives, but billions every month...why are we even looking at her seriously?<br /><br />I think a bit of sexism must be discussed. She stood there during the debate and didn't answer the questions, even freakin' acknowledged that she wouldn't be answering the questions, just kept to her talking points of "energy," "maverick," "reform," "American people," no matter what the context. She would call Obama to task for something, Biden would promptly shut it down and prove her wrong and then she couldn't say anything else except, "Um....your plan is a white flag of surrender." WTH?<br /><br />She had set the bar so low the past two weeks that the fact she managed to stay standing the whole time and managed to say, "energy," "maverick," "reform," etc, impressed the heck out of people. But not me.<br /><br />Everyone is giving her credit because she was more likable than Biden. More "folksy."<br /><br />Does "folksy" make you a good president? George W. is folksy. How's the country doing?<br /><br />Does peppering your speech with a bunch of "y'all" and "ya know" and "darn right"s make you a good politican? Yes, it shows that you're relatable. Good for you. But like I said in my last post, I don't WANT to relate to you. I love Obama, but I can't relate to him. I didn't go to Harvard, I'm not a lawyer, I've never run for public office. That's fine with me. I like Obama for his intellegence.<br /><br />The fact that America is still taking Sarah Palin seriously scares me. It's like a woman who marries the first guy who makes her laugh instead of waiting for someone who makes her think.<br /><br />We can do better. We HAVE to do better.T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com246tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-27777908229915167512008-09-29T21:01:00.003-05:002008-09-29T21:16:45.489-05:00This article pretty much sums up all my feelings about the McCain/Palin ticket...<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-seitzman/sarah-palin-naked_b_125861.html">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-seitzman/sarah-palin-naked_b_125861.html</a><br /><br /><blockquote>The last two paragraphs are especially important:<br /><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><p><span><span><span>"Stop voting for people you want to have a beer with. Stop voting for folksy. Stop voting for people who remind you of your neighbor. Stop voting<br />for the ideologically intransigent, the staggeringly ignorant, and the blazingly incompetent.<br />Vote for someone smarter than you. Vote for<br />someone who inspires you. Vote for someone who has not only traveled the world but who has<br />also shown a deep understanding and compassion for it.<br />The stakes are real and they're terrifyingly high. This election matters. It matters. It really matters. Let me say that one more time.<br />This. Really. Matters." </span></span></span></p></blockquote><blockquote></blockquote><blockquote></blockquote><blockquote></blockquote><p>Anyone who knows me knows I ride hard for Team Obama. I watch MSNBC and CNN<br />regularly for their political commentary and am able to listen to Obama<br />criticism with an objective view. (Now, Michelle, on the other hand - no one can<br />talk bad about Michelle.) </p></blockquote><p>But it kills me when the worst thing they can say about Obama is that he's<br />too intellectual. Too studious, too polished. Can't connect with middle America.<br />Can't win the affections of the working class. Poll after poll say that people<br />just don't identify with him, that they can see themselves more in McCain. </p><p>That's the worst logic I've ever heard. Do you want a president you can<br />imagine having beers with? I don't, because in my mind, my president shouldn't<br />be getting drunk when there's better things to do. Like RUN THE COUNTRY. </p><p>Michael Seitzman is absolutely right. We need to vote for people who are<br />better than us. Smarter than us. Have had experiences that we didn't. I'm not<br />saying McCain is a dummy, in fact, I think he's incredibly smart, but the whole<br />notion of voting for someone who is "real" is extremely stupid. </p><p>The economic news the past weeks has got me even more passionate about this<br />election. Whoever we put in office in the next six weeks will determine how we<br />handle this economic slump we're in, whether we rise like champions or slide<br />further into financial ruin. </p><p>Remember: your vote has power, so make sure you do your homework. Learn about<br />the issues <a href="http://www.barackobama.com/issues/">here</a> and <a href="http://www.johnmccain.com/Informing/Issues/">here</a>. </p></blockquote></blockquote>T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-38175311295245932022008-09-11T12:39:00.002-05:002008-09-11T12:57:54.165-05:00Turn off the lights...Light a candle...What is it about parenthood that makes romance so hard? Is it the seemingly neverending stream of poop and vomit? Is it the sheer level of exhaustion at the end of the day that makes it hard to do anything other than to collapse into bed at the first opportunity?<br /><br />I'm not sure what it is, but I'm fighting with every ounce I have left. While my husband and I are still considered newlyweds (15 months and counting!), we certainly don't act like it. More often than not, we're bickering with each other, getting on each other's nerves. But we do love each other. More than anything. I married that man because I believed we had what it took to stay together when times are good and bad, happy or sad. (Shout out to Al Green.)<br /><br />But when you have two kids, the effort it takes to be nice to one another increases. I find it hard to be happy to see him after a long day at work if I know he's going to head straight to the couch to watch SportsCenter and I haven't sat down all day. It's hard for him to be nice to me, if all I do is nag him about taking the diapers outside and picking up the kids' prescriptions.<br /><br />But we try to keep that spark alive, the same spark that enabled us to have two kids in four years. Tomorrow we're going on our first real date since before baby number two arrived on the scene and I'm so excited it's like it was when we first started dating. I can't wait to hold his hand on the way there, or give him a kiss when it's over and tell him how much I enjoyed the evening. I love being in love and it's easier when we're alone to feel that same glow I felt four years ago.<br /><br />But the kids are here and aren't going away, so we'll have to find a way to keep the romance alive even when the kids are still awake. Wish us luck!T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-49096745233460084722008-08-29T13:53:00.002-05:002008-08-29T14:08:18.714-05:00A Whole Life Ahead of Me...I feel so good lately. Not really physically (my body feels like crap) but emotionally. Let's all pause and take advantage of my good mood 'cause with all these postpartum hormones it might only be a hop, skip and a jump to Crankytown.<br /><br />I am enjoying time with my son, and learning what it means to be a mother all over again. I'm learning more patience than ever. When you have one child that's screaming for you and another, more helpless child screaming for you, you have to make a decision: tend to one physically, comfort the other one verbally. It's been a balancing act. I feel like I don't give enough attention to my almost 2 year old, who is really still a baby herself. But that's something that will get better in time.<br /><br />With this child, I'm happier than I had been with my first. With my daughter, I was completely overwhelmed and wanted more than anything for my life to go back to normal. Go back to the days where I could sleep in and not worry about...well, anything. Go back to the days where I could browse stores in the mall all day just because I had nothing else to do and the clothes I picked off the rack actually fit and I didn't worry about covering up my out of shape belly.<br /><br />Now? I've adjusted. I know this period of sleeplessness, oh-my-god-kid-didn't-I-just-feed-you?, you-pooped-again?-and-again?, now-I-have-to-change-your-clothes-for-the-third-time-today, will pass soon. He'll get older and I won't get to cuddle with him, because he'll think he's a big boy and doesn't need his mommy anymore. I know this, because I'm going through it with my older one. Who would've thought kids under two are dying for their independence?<br /><br />So I'm just trying to take it a day at a time, holding him as much as I can, making sure the memories of this time are burned into my mind. Some might say that I've missed out on a lot having children at 22, and I can't deny that I've had to make sacrifices. Suffice it to say, my kids and my husband are now my priority. Period. <br /><br />But then again, I'm only 22. Meaning, by the time my youngest is 18 and heading to college, I'll be 40. Assuming I live to about 80 (longevity runs in my family), that's 40 years of child-free living. I'll have plenty of time to do whatever and go wherever then. But for now, I'm enjoying watching my children grow up. That's enough for me.T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-61654533480850833992008-08-13T17:14:00.002-05:002008-08-13T17:16:24.171-05:00Introducing the newest member of the family....<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/SKNdI5XU_dI/AAAAAAAAAWQ/vE-7mDJs9Z0/s1600-h/Close+up.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5234129599353650642" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/SKNdI5XU_dI/AAAAAAAAAWQ/vE-7mDJs9Z0/s320/Close+up.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Welcome to the world, son! Mommy and Daddy love you very much already! </div>T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-51867078196247462642008-07-29T20:27:00.003-05:002008-07-29T20:35:43.286-05:00The big day has arrived!Don't get too too excited - I'm still pregnant.<br /><br />But my side hustle that I told you about is ready to be unveiled. It's not in its most polished form yet, but I figured, let me promote this thing a little bit to give me some motivation to keep it going - especially once baby #2 gets here.<br /><br />So here it is - <a href="http://youngmommychronicles.wordpress.com/">Young Mommy Chronicles</a>, a place where young moms (who I classify as being 25 or younger when they had their first child) can come chat, learn some new tips and share experiences.<br /><br />I know that being a young mom can be isolating. Most of your friends are all single and childless. They think nothing of jetting off to Vegas for a quick trip, or dropping $100 on a new pair of shoes. Meanwhile, you're clenching your jaw every month as you pay an arm and a leg for daycare, just wishing for a chance to go somewhere other than the grocery store or to work.<br /><br />I hope that you check the site out, even if you're not a young mom. A lot of the articles I post have to do with <a href="http://youngmommychronicles.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/budgeting-101-6-helpful-tips-for-young-moms/">finances</a> and <a href="http://youngmommychronicles.wordpress.com/2008/06/20/high-schools-girls-made-pact-to-get-pregnant-together/">pop culture</a>, so you can participate in the discussion even if you don't have young ones running around.<br /><br />But please, do check it out and let me know what you think. A more formal site will be coming soon, with forums and an e-mail newsletter. I plan on including interviews with other moms who will share their tips on making it to 30 with their sanity intact! If you'd like to be featured, shoot me an e-mail at <a href="mailto:youngmommychronicles@gmail.com">youngmommychronicles@gmail.com</a>.T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-73973417989974382192008-07-22T18:45:00.002-05:002008-07-22T18:53:50.739-05:00What does it take to be a good mother?The days of having only one child are slowly coming to an end and I'm overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. On one hand, I feel like my life is suddenly making sense. On the other, I feel like my world is about to be completely out of control. (For those who truly know me, know that I'm a total control freak.)<br /><br />These past 20 months with Ayanna have taught me a lot about motherhood. I thought I had an idea of what a good mom was - someone who loves their child more than life itself, someone who has unwavering patience and an inclination to parent with love at all times.<br /><br />But putting those things into practice everyday is harder than I thought and I'm still learning what it means to be a good mother.<br /><br />I truly struggle with motherhood. Everyone who sees me, sees the mom that I want them to see. No, I'm not at home beating my daughter or anything like that, but I get frustrated with my parenting abilities on a daily basis. Every day I'm wondering if I did this right or if I did something wrong, or if I'll ever learn how to do X-Y-Z. It's a constant guessing game.<br /><br />Now that I'm about to have two kids, I wonder: Will I <em>ever</em> feel like a mommy vet? Will I ever truly feel like I <em>know</em> what I'm doing? Will I ever just <em>get it</em>? Or does it take a lifetime of parenting, of loving, of teaching, in order to feel secure in your abilities? <br /><br />All I know is that I love my kid(s). Love 'em to death. Would do anything for them. <em>Will</em> do anything for them. I think when your kids know the truth behind those statements, <em>that's</em> when you are a good mother.T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-36853354206757481742008-07-14T19:11:00.002-05:002008-07-14T19:15:46.990-05:00It's Almost Here!!!Yes, the newest addition to my family is almost here (less than a month to go!), but that's not what the title of this post refers to.<br /><br />Over the past two months, I've been working on a side project that will (fingers crossed!) earn me enough money to call it a side hustle. Right now, I'm just trying to make sure it was sustain itself, especially since I decided to start it when I was six months pregnant. Probably not the best time to start a new "business," huh?<br /><br />But I saw a void and thought I could fill it. I didn't want to wait until my life calmed down and felt normal again, because that could take years.<br /><br />You'll get more details in the coming days, as I plan to launch it officially in the next week. I'm soo excited, can you tell? I'm not really spilling on what it is, but if you're a young mom or know someone who is, this is for you!<br /><br />Stay tuned!T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-81097097201430036452008-06-23T16:30:00.005-05:002008-06-23T17:13:07.082-05:00A Day in the Life of a Mommy...Want to know why I haven't been blogging lately? Two reasons: Because I'm pregnant and it's the summer.<br /><br />That is ALL that is going on with my life right now. I'm concentrating on getting this child that's growing inside of me to a healthy weight and getting him or her OUT. That's me at about 7.5 months. Seven and a half months!!! It's ridiculous how big I'm getting. Let me remind you that I'm only 4'11''. <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/SGAfeeTO-JI/AAAAAAAAAWI/8Ec76nvFcsk/s1600-h/pregnant+belly.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5215202976885307538" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/SGAfeeTO-JI/AAAAAAAAAWI/8Ec76nvFcsk/s320/pregnant+belly.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />This pregnancy has worn me out, more than I thought it would. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I spent the first three or so month hunched over a toilet, the next three months in hot and crowded New York City with a two hour commute to and from work, and then the last three months trying to figure out how to balance pregnancy with being a college student. (I had to sit sideways in my seat for the last month because I was too big to fit in the desk. Nice, right?)<br /><br />But this pregnancy makes that one look like a walk in the park. Every day I wake up and it's like I'm a contestant in the game show, "Which Pregnancy Discomfort Do You Have Today?" It's always something - backache, my feet hurt, feeling like I'm going to vomit, pain in my hip, shooting pains up my thigh. But the bonus is that now I have a toddler to chase after. With my first pregnancy, if I didn't feel well, I simply waddled over to the couch and sat down.<br /><br />Now? I get to sit down after eight, which is when the princess goes to sleep. Until then, the princess needs to be taken care of, which usually falls under my responsibility, since her father takes the morning shift. Plus, she seems to prefer my service to her father's.<br /><br />That leaves me with nothing to blog about. Yes, there have been a few situations in the past couple weeks that warranted a blog post, but the biggest thing on my mind these days is welcoming the newest addition to my family and until that happens, everything else is just....blah.<br /><br />So thanks for sticking around long enough to listen to me vent. I needed that. Thanks.T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-58864021817308016982008-06-03T20:16:00.002-05:002008-06-03T20:18:47.681-05:00My Life Has Been Changed....<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/SEXtWDmkH1I/AAAAAAAAAWA/x6xhW0KGxis/s1600-h/barack-obama-official-small.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5207829507303808850" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/SEXtWDmkH1I/AAAAAAAAAWA/x6xhW0KGxis/s320/barack-obama-official-small.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">YES WE CAN!</span> </div><br /><div></div>T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-32199422880813516452008-04-27T20:59:00.003-05:002008-04-27T21:05:17.672-05:00I feel like an adult!So...<br /><br />We've moved!<br /><br />Which is partially the reason why things have been so crazy around my way, and why I haven't been blogging as much I used to. Well, that and the fact that work is altogether busy, and I'm trying to step up my game in all aspects of my life. Meaning, I'm focusing on being a better mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, etc.<br /><br />But back to the moving!<br /><br />We've found a nice new place that's about 15 minutes from where we used to live, but now my commute to work is shorter PLUS each kid can now have his or her own room. How fabulous is that?<br /><br />We've bought REAL furniture and I can't tell you how good it feels to come home after work and sit on a nice couch and not some dorm-room, college-style furniture. Hallejuah!<br /><br />This week will probably be a mixture of unpacking and settling in, and preparing to enjoy the summer ahead. I've already got plans to take the little one EVERYWHERE this summer, so she can get as much mommy and daddy time as possible before the new baby comes and she is forever stuck as the Big Sister. Three months to go...man, am I nervous! But I guess that's a part of life, of being an adult.T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-25482515310012271112008-04-22T19:06:00.002-05:002008-04-22T19:10:18.378-05:00Will it ever end?I am so sick of this presidential election.<br /><br />I'm tired of the commentators, the primaries, the delegate count, the popular vote, the superdelegrate conversation - EVERYTHING. Everywhere I look, everything I hear, everything I see has to do with who will occupy the White House in January 2008. As much as I want that person to be Barack Obama, I'm a little tired of hearing about it.<br /><br />The back and forth between Hillary and Obama is getting old - quick. I mean, I know she's not running just to personally piss me off, but come on! Someone throw in the towel - please!<br /><br />No matter what the returns in Pennsylvania say, I say let's call this thing! Let's unify the Democratic party and look forward to November. I beg you!T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-72471671441990748992008-03-03T18:01:00.003-05:002008-04-16T19:08:23.834-05:00Tomorrow is THE day...I've been on the sidelines this election season, listening to the radio and TV hosts make predictions about how Hillary's faring, Obama's rock star appeal and the rise of the new young voter.<br /><br />I admit, Obama has had me intrigued for about a year now. When he first announced he was running for president last February, I was curious: How would this fare out? Would he be taken seriously? Is America ready for this? Heck, am I ready for this?<br /><br />As the months wore on, I found myself becoming enamored with this gentleman from Illinois. Every time I heard his voice on the TV, I would drop whatever I was doing and listen. There's just something about his speech, his delivery, his essence, his - dare I say it? - his <em>swagger</em>. Yeah, I said it. I love Obama's swagger.<br /><br />I read an article about Obama in my favorite magazine, Essence, maybe six months ago. In it, he talked about having the conversation with his daughters about being president. The writer made the point that how many black dads can say that they've had that conversation? I know my dad never talked to me about his run for the highest office. He was more concerned with paying for my expensive private-school tuition.<br /><br />In that article, Obama also made a point that made me a hardcore supporter. He said that if he wins the presidency, once America sees Malia and Sasha running around on the front lawn of the White House, it will change the way America sees little black girls. Once Michelle Obama is First Lady, it changes the way America looks at black women, and therefore, it changes the way America looks at itself.<br /><br />That is so profound to me.<br /><br />Plain Dealer columnist Regina Brett wrote in her column today about voting for Hillary Clinton because she realizes the chance of voting for a woman for president might not ever happen again. Good point. A lot of my friends are on the Hillary-for-Prez bandwagon and I admit I was too at one point, very early in the election process. They want to see a woman in the White House. I can't argue with that.<br /><br />But having a black man in the White House, as president, is just something I have to see come to fruition. I can see myself in Barack, much easier than I can see myself in Hillary. Perhaps I'm too young to really understand sexism. Maybe because I went to an all-girls high school I believed I was as smart as any guy out here so I don't fall back on gender as an excuse.<br /><br />I guess what I'm really saying is that I see myself as a black woman, rather than a woman who is black. I don't have much in common with most white women I know. When I see a white woman walking down the street, I don't get the common "How's it going?" nod that I get when I see a black man. There's something about the bond of black folks that won't let me let this chance slip away.<br /><br />So I'm voting for Barack. Not just for me, but for my kids. When they get old enough to go to school, when they see all the pictures of presidents, they'll see (FINALLY!!!) someone who looks like them, who has their same skin color.<br /><br />And people say, "Well, Barack's not really black. He's biracial." True. Very, very true. But I genuinely believe that America doesn't recognize biracial people as their own "race." One drop rule still prevails, unfortunately. And if one drop is black (or African, as in Barack's case), then you are lumped in with all the other "black folks."<br /><br />But this election isn't about race. It isn't about gender. It's about what you want for yourself and future generations. And I want someone in the White House who looks like me, who knows what it's like to defy odds and do the impossible. I want to put someone in the White House that the system is made to block out. I want a president who looks like my daddy.T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-11434127586364967122008-01-30T18:37:00.000-05:002008-01-30T18:42:13.092-05:00Has it really been three weeks since my last post?Time is flying! It's almost February!<br /><br />So much has been going on my life. I finally started a retirement account, am in the process of house-hunting, taking care of baby #1 while preparing for baby #2, trying not to let the morning sickness and overall lack of energy keep me from performing well at work, and trying to keep the romance alive between me and the hubby. I had no idea being an adult was so time-consuming.<br /><br />I remember being 12 or 13 and wanting to be grown SO.BAD. To me, being an adult meant that you had your own place and car, could go wherever you wanted, didn't have to ask permission for anything, could stay up late, go on vacations, etc. Which is true, but I didn't realize that to do all those things you'll have to work really hard. *Sigh* Where did the time go?<br /><br />I'm trying to take everything one day at a time, just be as organized as I can, and go with the flow. So far, so good!T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-45541959116670873442008-01-07T21:27:00.000-05:002008-01-07T21:29:13.259-05:00Some things in life just aren't fair....<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/R4LfykEUeAI/AAAAAAAAAV4/hvyat1C199E/s1600-h/halle.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5152926983433517058" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/R4LfykEUeAI/AAAAAAAAAV4/hvyat1C199E/s320/halle.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br /> Like this, for instance. How is it that she is looking so friggin' flawless? At 40 and pregnant??!?! Her ankles aren't even swollen! Argh!T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-84440306956767328252007-12-31T11:23:00.000-05:002007-12-31T11:30:30.717-05:00Are the holidays over?Christmas is very different when you're a mom. True, this is my second Christmas with a little one, but this was the first one where she actually kind of knew it was a special day. She kept looking suspiciously at the tree, as if she expected it to talk. She would drag all the presents from under the tree, even if they weren't hers, because in her mind, why would we have presents that weren't for her? Foolish!<br /><br />Next Christmas will be even more crazy because I will have TWO little ones. Yup, your girl is expecting again. So the little one gets to have a little brother and sister for the next holiday go-round.<br /><br />Am I excited? Yeah, I'm ready. We both have full-time jobs now, so money (finally!) isn't an issue. I'm ready to see how we do with two, how the transition goes, how much Ayanna likes/dislikes being the older sister. I'm exicted for all the changes to come: we need a bigger place, a bigger car, a better organization system, etc.<br /><br />It seems like once I finally catch my breath and get comfortable, something else happens.<br /><br />Funny how life happens.T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-62792081269742224312007-11-25T19:38:00.000-05:002007-11-25T19:50:59.173-05:00So many updates, so little time...<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/R0oYMN7qBxI/AAAAAAAAAVw/Rw8KvoaKTVM/s1600-h/s41520ca106786_3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5136944923146848018" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 160px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 257px" height="275" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/R0oYMN7qBxI/AAAAAAAAAVw/Rw8KvoaKTVM/s320/s41520ca106786_3.jpg" width="184" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/R0oXut7qBwI/AAAAAAAAAVo/7Ap976BMjrU/s1600-h/s41520ca106786_9_0.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5136944416340707074" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" height="224" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/R0oXut7qBwI/AAAAAAAAAVo/7Ap976BMjrU/s400/s41520ca106786_9_0.jpg" width="148" border="0" /></a> I am in the full holiday spirit this year.<br /><div> </div><div>First, my daughter turned one last Tuesday, marking a huge milestone in both of our lives. I'm fully determined to make every year as wonderful as the first one was. We finally had professional pictures taken, as you can see for yourself. Let me tell you, it's a lot harder getting that child to sit still and smile than I though it was going to be. Thank God we managed to get a few good shots! </div><div>My Thanksgiving was lovely, with my brother-in-law and his beautiful girlfriend stopping by. (They even complimented me on my cooking!) </div><div>I woke up Black Friday ready to shop and knocked four people off my Christmas list. </div><div>My very special 22nd birthday is tomorrow (woo hoo!) and I have no idea if I'm doing anything special (the hubby already took me out for dinner and a movie...side note: go see <em>This Christmas</em> when you get a chance. It made me wanna be the matriach of my family!)</div><div>I have a very special night out on the town planned for myself and the hubby next weekend. Not as much as I'd like to do, but with my budget still in "recent college grad" status, I'm not able to spoil my baby as much as I'd like. Still, it should be fun. I plan on taking lots of pictures, so hopefully you'll get to see a few. </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div></div>T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-36967850552916107452007-10-22T17:49:00.000-05:002007-10-22T17:58:42.914-05:00What Really Grinds My Gears...Clevelanders are walking around today moping because the beloved Indians lost to Boston Red Sox last night, essentially collasping in Game 7 despite leading the series 3-1. Everyone's talking about the sports curse that seems to be plaguing Cleveland. "The Shot," "The Fumble," "The Whatever."<br /><br />People need to be thinking about a different problem going on in the city right now and it has nothing to do with the World Series.<br /><br />It really pisses me off that everyone is so upset about the Indians losing when we are losing a battle everyday in our city. So the Indians won't get to the World Series. We've gone 50-plus years without a victory, another one won't kill us.<br /><br />But you know what will? The senseless violence going on in our streets and in our community.<br /><br />I waver between wanting to get involved, attend some rallies, listen to what the city leaders have to say about this epidemic. Then on the other hand I want to pack my daughter up and move away from Cleveland as fast as I can. The town I live in might be boring as all get out, but at least it's safe. I can push my daughter around in her stroller without worrying about a stray bullet hitting her.<br /><br />Every single solitary day I check Cleveland's paper and there is another homicide reported. This is ri-damn-diculous. Enough already. If I see another headline reporting that someone under 25 has been gunned down I am going to scream. Black males are indeed dying. What can I do? What can I do?<br /><br />Even if you don't live in Cleveland, but in other urban metro area, your city might be experiencing a crisis like this. It has got to stop.<br /><br />I don't know what I'm going to do, if it's volunteer with some at-risk youth, or become a Big Sister. I don't know yet. But I need to do something. I only hope others feel the same way.T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-43343927108925767272007-10-15T08:58:00.000-05:002007-10-15T09:18:46.088-05:00Funny How Much Things Change!<div><em>Dear Darling Daughter, </em></div><div><em>I can't believe it is almost November. Almost a year has passed since I gave birth to you, wonderful Ayanna. You changed my life in ways I could never have imagined. </em></div><div><em>Before I had you, I thought my life couldn't get any better. I had an amazing boyfriend, great friends, a bright future in the career field I had chosen. And then I found out I was pregnant. </em></div><div><em>I admit, I wasn't like the women you see in the movies or in the EPT commercials. I was so scared. Scared because I had never even held an infant before, and now I was going to be responsible for one. Scared because I wasn't fully out of my parent's house, yet I was going to be responsible with providing a house for you. </em></div><div><em>When I held you in my arms for the first time in the nursery, I thought you were the cutest, brightest baby I had ever seen. Also the sleepiest! I think I only saw your eyes for maybe 10 minutes that first day. I guess childbirth took a lot out of both of us. </em></div><div><em>Your father was amazing during this time. He was so kind and loving with you. He knew just how to hold you to get you to stop crying. </em></div><div><em>As the months went on and I learned more about you, I realize we have so much in common already. Even as an infant you are so curious about everything, not just about what things are, but how they work. You're always taking the batteries out of the remote, or pressing buttons on the DVD player, or trying to type on the keyboard when I put you in my lap. </em></div><div><em>There have been several moments of frustration where I felt like I wasn't the best mother. I admit I questioned God's decision to give you to me. Why couldn't I get it effortlessly? Why did I struggle with certain things, like putting you to sleep or getting you to eat solid foods? Shouldn't these things come naturally? </em></div><div><em>But as time wore on, those things got easier and I no longer worried whether I was doing a good job. Your smile said it all. </em></div><br /><div><br /></div><em>As the first year draws to a close, all I can say is that I'm sad it went by so fast. Now you're walking and beginning to talk and the little baby I held in the nursery is long gone. Now you're on a new stage of development, one that promises I'll be chasing you around. </em><br /><div><br /></div><div><em>Always remember that I love more than life itself. You are the most precious thing in the world to me. If ever you need anything, whether it's just someone to listen, or a hug, just ask and I will be there. I'm your mother, and I love you. </em></div><div><em>Love, </em></div><div><em>Mom. </em></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div><em></em></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div><em></em></div>T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-33577709704672031962007-09-23T14:09:00.000-05:002007-09-23T14:23:33.278-05:00Cleveland is in trouble<div>I never realized how much of a suburban girl I was until this summer. </div><br /><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5113482325062790450" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/Rva9FQ6bLTI/AAAAAAAAAVE/4kRGPNgYlUw/s400/large_astevee_sept3_2007.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div>This summer, I began working for the Cleveland Foundation, a community foundation in downtown Cleveland that receives money from donors willing to support change in Cleveland and disperses it to deserving nonprofit and governmental agencies across Northeast Ohio. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>To keep current on things in Cleveland, I make it a point to read the Plain Dealer every day. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>It seems like every day since the beginning of summer, I log onto Cleveland.com and discover that overnight, while my family and I were sleeping peacefully, a young adult was murdered. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>This morning I read about <a href="http://www.cleveland.com/news/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/cuyahoga/11905370566490.xml&coll=2&thispage=1">Brandon Marshall</a>, a bright, yet troubled 16-year-old who was shot in the leg because he didn't have permission from gang leaders to be in a certain area. He was on his way to his aunt's house. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>What kind of city am I holding on to? What is going on? I can't even imagine not being able to walk where I wanted to walk just because some local drug dealers decided it was <em>their</em> territory. Where are the cops?</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>The long list of murder victims this summer alone troubles me. I wonder, why are people killing each other? It might be the result of media coverage, but why does it seem like all the violence in Cleveland is black-on-black crime? </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I always say I love Cleveland, but maybe what I mean is, I love Cleveland Heights, the racially diverse suburb where I grew up, which is still relatively safe. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I don't know anything about drug dealers. I know a little about drugs, but have no idea where to buy them. I realize for some Cleveland residents, they don't have to go very far. Right next door. Up the street. Around the corner. Plenty of places to get that fix. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>What can I do? I think to myself as I keep reading these stories of young people gunned down simply because of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I understand some tragedies can't be avoided, but a young girl stopping at the corner store to buy candy <a href="http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2007/09/hunt_on_for_2nd_suspect_in_12y.html">shouldn't be shot and killed as she leaves</a>. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>This has got to stop. I know I get scared when I have to drive through certain sections of Cleveland at night, but I have no idea how terrifying it must be to actually live there. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I pray for all the families of the victims. May God bless you. </div><br /><div></div>T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-86161327717118222522007-09-18T21:14:00.000-05:002007-09-18T21:19:03.420-05:00I've got a new attitude!(Okay, okay, I admit I did sing a little of that Patti LaBelle song while typing the title of this post...)<br /><br />I'm in a good place right now, probably because for the first time in my life, I'm content right where I am. I have a great job doing something worthwhile for the community, I freelance on the side, I have a wonderful husband who makes me feel lucky every day I have him in my life, an adorable daughter who is growing up (too) fast, I have great family and friends, I've been working out lately and eating healthier. To sum it up <em>- life is good</em>.<br /><br />Just wanted to let you all know *wink*T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-61356895033987824442007-09-15T21:02:00.000-05:002007-09-15T21:05:57.592-05:00New article at VibeVixen.comHello peeps! I'm back!<br /><br />FYI, Chicago was fun. I really want to do it big next time I go though. Each time I've been to Chi-town it's only been for a weekend, so I feel like I'm missing a lot. Next time I'm going for AT LEAST four days.<br /><br />Also, I have a new article up at <a href="http://vibevixen.com/">VibeVixen.com </a>titled Spin the Bottle. Hit up the site every once in a while, as I've been pitching like mad over there. Show me some love, especially since the print version folded. We've got to continue to support each other!T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30640673.post-13354744064798217332007-09-06T13:55:00.000-05:002007-09-06T14:00:31.869-05:00Chi-town, here I come!<div>In my opinion, one of the most fabulous things in life is going on a road trip with someone you love. </div><br /><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5107167242476145010" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_sd9V23hAWbs/RuBNjFBNSXI/AAAAAAAAAU8/KYIYG1nF_tc/s400/illinois-chicago.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div>This weekend, the hubby and I are dropping off the doll-baby with her grandparents and heading to Chicago for his cousin's wedding! I can't wait. I love weddings. I love seeing the giving away, the newlyweds exchanging vows, the first kiss, the proclamation of marriage, the bouquet toss, the cake-cutting, the first dance, everything! I seem to have a newfound appreciate for it now that I'm married. </div><div> </div><div>Being the good wife that I am, I'm planning on taking the hubby out to dinner Saturday night (the wedding's on Sunday). Anyone have any suggestions on where to go?</div>T.P. Jeffersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05787850048748539406noreply@blogger.com2