I Don't Know What The Future Holds...

I can't believe I am thisclose to graduating. It seems like these past three and a half years have flown by. I've done everything I wanted to and then some. When I was a naive little freshman, I had no idea that by the time I was finished I would have been editor in chief of TWO publications, been an intern at one of the largest magazines in the world, Reader's Digest, had a wonderful daughter and found my soul mate.

Nope, I don't think I could have predicted this...

But now the question is, "What's next?" What's next for me? Until this point, my next step was always plotted out for me. After elementary school, I knew I had to go to middle school, and after that it was high school and then college. But after college, what am I supposed to do?

Last summer when I was in New York doing my internship I hated it. "Why?" you ask. Well, for one thing I was pregnant and homesick and it just wasn't a good time to be stuck in a city that never freakin' sleeps when all you want to do is go home, put your feet up and relax until your due date. Now that I have my daughter, I'm actually considering moving there.

I don't really want to raise a child in New York. I know I could wait until she's a little older, but I do plan on having more kids eventually so at least one of them would be considered a New Yorker. The idea of raising kids there frightens me.

I mean, from the time you are pregnant its a logistical nightmare. I mean, if you go into labor, what - do you call a cab? When you go home from the hospital, do you call a cab? What about car seats? Strollers? I looked at amazement at moms struggling down the steps to the subway with strollers, diaper bags, shopping bags and kids hanging from their arms. It was like I was looking at a Supermom convention. I saw little kids every day catching the subway to and from school. Little kids. Like eight years old carrying Dora the Explorer lunch boxes. I don't want my daughter riding the subway where God only knows what could happen to her.

So what do I do? Do I move to New York and let my daughter turn into a New Yorker, or do I stay in a fairly large city that's not the Big Apple and pursue my dreams there?

I really don't know, although I wish I had some answers.