Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Stay-at-home motherhood? What's that?

During my maternity leave, I've discovered two things: One, I am going to miss my kids when I go back to work. Two, there is no way I could be a stay-at-home mom.

Don't those two emotions conflict? Yeah, I guess they do. But as much as I love my kids, as much as I want to be the one who feeds them and plays with them everyday, the reality is Mommy has to go to work.

I don't see how we could manage with just one income. True, we'd save a boatload of money by not worrying about childcare, but still. With the way the economy is, and the price of everything skyrocketing, I like the idea of a two-income family, if for no other reason than to make me feel more secure about being able to provide for my kids.

But historically, haven't black women always worked outside the home? Isn't this a cultural thing? Isn't this just what we (black women) do? Give our all in all areas of our lives?

Truthfully, I didn't even know being a stay-at-home mom was an option. When I found out I was pregnant with my son, I told my boss and she asked if I was planning to come back to work after he was born. I looked at her with a confused look on my face. "Why wouldn't I come back?" I thought to myself.

Then I realized. Some women (who are fortunate enough to have the means financially) say Adios to the working world once their children are born. I've never even considered it.

What do you think? Should women stay home? Is it smart? Better for the kids?

40 comments:

Paris David said...

Yeah, I never knew I'd want to stay home with my babies after having them.

The truth is, you just don't know how you'll feel till you have them.

Some days are lonely, but most days I just love being home and God's blessed me so much being able to make money online from home and the flexibility of it all, I don't know if I'd want to go back to a 9 to 5.

But thank the Lord for choices, huh?

Anonymous said...

My wife has stayed at home since our first daughter was born. She went to work for four months during this period and it caused such as disruption to our family that she had to stop. Things are much better with her at home.

Lovely Lady Luxe said...

I'm not a mother yet but my sister (who has 1 son) said that she doensn't think she could be a stay-at-home mom b/c you can begin to miss being around other adults. I guess it's all about finding that balance.

PuReWebDev said...

If the opportunity presents itself, stop working for the man, and work for yourself from home. This way, you can care for your baby, and spend all of those precious moments, without having to give up the financial freedom that working affords you.

I've been working from home for the last year and a half, and the only thing I'm upset about is not having started sooner. Good luck.

Virtualsprite said...

I don't know... I like my career too much. I couldn't imagine not being in the newsroom, calling out injustice, recognizing abilities. But it's tempting sometimes to jus stay home and be with the kids.

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Clara said...

I felt the same way when I was on maternity leave--but now, I would LOVE to stay at home with my baby girl and run the house. Working full time and taking care of a baby and a house is a challenge...to say the least.--anyway, thanks for checking out my blog- and for your comment, my husband played basketball every weds with out fail... he only stopped because it's summer and the group of boys stopped...come winter.. he'll be back at it!

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