I Need To Get This Off My Chest...

I've been learning to love God and to walk as a true Christian should, but sometimes it is so hard.

I've been having a lot of criticism lately, criticism that I haven't been able to shake off like I usually do. In the past two weeks, I've had people tell me I wasn't talented, that I was a bad mother, that I must have been stupid for getting pregnant without a ring on my finger.

That's a lot to take in in such a short period of time. I don't know why people want to rain on my parade. Or "piss in my garden" like some folks say. (What folks, I don't know...but I heard it somewhere before...)

The first insult didn't hurt me as much as the last two. I'm secure enough with my writing abilities to know that I am a talented writer and no amount of haterism will tell me otherwise. But for me to have to hear time and time again, "Oooh, you had a child and you weren't married." It hurts, because there's nothing I can say.

People think they are above me for the simple fact that they are still single and childless and they are able to do whatever they want to do. But I'm not sorry I had my daughter. Quite frankly, it's the opposite. I'm GLAD I have her. I'm tired of people looking down on me like I'm this poor, ignorant girl who got pregnant on purpose because she had no goals in life.

Then there's the whole other notion that I got married because I was pregnant. Newsflash: My wedding plans were in the works before my daughter came into my life. I love my hubby with everything I have, every fiber of my being is in love with him. He loves me. Isn't that what matters?

I was downright SCARED last year when I found out I was pregnant. Terrified. But I made it - we made it by the grace of God.

Now, when it comes time to invite people to the wedding, I don't really feel like some people - the others who have all these smart comments to say about me being a mommy - should be on the list. I don't want anyone at my wedding who is not supportive of me and my family.

I do my best not to judge anyone on the decisions they've made. We all make mistakes and sometimes things happen in our lives that other people don't consider to be the right move. But does that mean you are better than anyone? No, it doesn't. People disappoint me so much with their ability to rush to judgment.

I know this isn't really a well-thought-out articulate post, but I was angry at having to hear all these comments, especially when people have no idea what they are talking about.