Thursday, April 05, 2007

I Need To Get This Off My Chest...

I've been learning to love God and to walk as a true Christian should, but sometimes it is so hard.

I've been having a lot of criticism lately, criticism that I haven't been able to shake off like I usually do. In the past two weeks, I've had people tell me I wasn't talented, that I was a bad mother, that I must have been stupid for getting pregnant without a ring on my finger.

That's a lot to take in in such a short period of time. I don't know why people want to rain on my parade. Or "piss in my garden" like some folks say. (What folks, I don't know...but I heard it somewhere before...)

The first insult didn't hurt me as much as the last two. I'm secure enough with my writing abilities to know that I am a talented writer and no amount of haterism will tell me otherwise. But for me to have to hear time and time again, "Oooh, you had a child and you weren't married." It hurts, because there's nothing I can say.

People think they are above me for the simple fact that they are still single and childless and they are able to do whatever they want to do. But I'm not sorry I had my daughter. Quite frankly, it's the opposite. I'm GLAD I have her. I'm tired of people looking down on me like I'm this poor, ignorant girl who got pregnant on purpose because she had no goals in life.

Then there's the whole other notion that I got married because I was pregnant. Newsflash: My wedding plans were in the works before my daughter came into my life. I love my hubby with everything I have, every fiber of my being is in love with him. He loves me. Isn't that what matters?

I was downright SCARED last year when I found out I was pregnant. Terrified. But I made it - we made it by the grace of God.

Now, when it comes time to invite people to the wedding, I don't really feel like some people - the others who have all these smart comments to say about me being a mommy - should be on the list. I don't want anyone at my wedding who is not supportive of me and my family.

I do my best not to judge anyone on the decisions they've made. We all make mistakes and sometimes things happen in our lives that other people don't consider to be the right move. But does that mean you are better than anyone? No, it doesn't. People disappoint me so much with their ability to rush to judgment.

I know this isn't really a well-thought-out articulate post, but I was angry at having to hear all these comments, especially when people have no idea what they are talking about.

9 comments:

Sincere said...

Don't worry about what people have to say about you. Some people are quick to judge others when they need to worry about themselves first. Teh main thing is that you love your daughter and you have a man that loves you. It doesn't matter whether you had a child before or after you got married. I know that some people frown upon that but they do not live your life or walk in your shoes. Keep your head up and don't worry about the haters. Like Katt Williams says " Everybody needs somebody to hate on them." People are gonna hate regardless, just do the best you can and you guys will be fine.
It is what it is..

Manchild said...

Matters not what people say about you. God loves you absent any conditions. There's absolutely nothing you can do to separate from God's love once you've accepted the greatest gift of all.

Although Jesus was guiltless and sinless, people still verbally vilified and physically crucified an actually person. Although Jesus was perfect, He was still rejected and despised by His own people.

If people talked about Jesus, they'll talk about you. This, too, shall pass. So relax and enjoy the rest of your life.

Paula Neal Mooney said...

Yeah, people who criticize are ones who dislike themselves.

I had to let go of a big judgmental attitude I was developing because I thought that's what "good Christians" do.

Puh! If only people knew my whole past and everything Jesus forgave me for, I have no right to judge anybody!

Neither do the folks judging you...

Honestly. And by the time they get around to having their babies, you'll be in that nice and relaxed stage and way outta diapers!

LuckySnap said...

Stick to your guns! It only matters what makes you happy in life. Not eveyone takes the same path in life. Thats what makes us unique.

That Journalist said...

Thanks everyone for commenting. I really needed to hear that. My hubby is really good at letting negative comments roll off his back, but they tend to stick around with me. I'm learning to develop a thicker skin, but at times it is very hard...

Martin Lindsey. said...

That's why the Good Lord put you two together so you could reinforce whatever the other one needs. You'll get there.

Jim.Legington said...

Tara,

Jim Legington here, Daughter listen, my wife Lena and I have been married for now 33 years, the reason for that is true love. When You have love as I can hear that You and Your Husband have for one another, this is what will get You through the storms of life.

Every person among us needs the mercy of God, anything else found in the attitude of mankind is just a lie. Grace and truth are realized in Jesus Christ.

Your Daughter is a gift from God, a lovely arrow in You and Your Husband's parental hand. Keep up the good work that is in God Our Father. God is Good.

God is love, when you got love,
You have the most powerful force in Heaven and Earth.Just be faithful to God because He is victory over anyone of those Pharisee that are talking.

Daughter that's all it is, talk, because their deeds will prove everyone needs God's mercy.

That's the truth. Be Blessed always, Peace!

Pickled Eel said...

Well, I thought I would drop you a note to encourage you but itlooks like it has all been said in these other comments. To ignore the judgemental and to press on in your aspiration to be a good Christian. You are right, it is not easy but God never asks us to carry more than we can bear. And He loves unconditionally, regardless of what we do and say. Amazing really.

Adria said...

I can't believe anyone would have the nerve to say these things to you. You are the most dedicated, loving, caring soul I have come across in a long time. I look up to you and want to be just like you, and you are younger then me! Screw those people!