Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Is chivalry dead?

I've been investing a lot of time trying to put some of the "spark" back into my marriage. You know how it gets after a while: the same things your partner did at the beginning of the relationship that you found oh-so-adorable suddenly become the things that you abhor the most. The wining and dining stops. Your conversations revolve around baby poop and "Guess what Junior did today?!" At night you collapse into bed, too exhausted to do anything but dream.

One of the things I told my husband was that he should open the car door for me. This was one of the reasons I fell for him. He was the first guy (besides my father) to do those things for me. When we were first dating, he would open the door for me, walk next to me when we went somewhere, and when we went out to dinner, he would grab the check and refused to let me see how much the tab was because "a woman shouldn't worry about those things." Can you see why I fell hard for this man?

Now? Oh boy. He'll walk in the door ahead of me and 6 times out of ten I have to scurry before the door hits me. Ha. He walks ahead of me now, complaining that I "walk too slow." And now when we go out to dinner, the check will just sit there and we'll have the ultimate Stare-Down to see who reaches for it first. (I don't know why he bothers 'cause he pays all the time anyway. Love you honey!)

So is chivalry dead? Do men do these things throughout all the stages of the relationship?

And is it important? I laugh about the fact that my hubby used to try to impress me with all these gestures. Are we headed for divorce court because he doesn't hold the door? I don't think so.

So I'm asking: Is chivalry dead?

1 comment:

Yolanda said...

No, chivalry isn't dead- life just happens and you have to truely evaluate what things you do and don't require to feel loved. I highly highly recommend reading "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate" to help reconnect the things that you need to keep your relationship focused and growing strong.

This one did make me smile though because I just recently told my own husband how much I miss him holding the car door open for me. Ah the things they do when dating that seem to slip the mind- they just need a refresher now and then :)